NEVER LOOK BACK, 2024
Documentary Short Film | Multi-channel Video Installation
NEVER LOOK BACK is a film exploring the relationship between the individual, the collective, and the times. The project reveals the profound impact of traditional Chinese ethical concepts and collective oppression on personal life and identity, showing how cultural trauma is transmitted across generations and affects the psyche and identity of future generations.
NEVER LOOK BACK (multi-channel video installation, installation view), Nanjing Center, Nanjing, China, 2024
NEVER LOOK BACK (multi-channel video installation, installation view), Nanjing Center, Nanjing, China, 2024
It originated from a conversation about old family photographs with my grandmother one late afternoon. This was meant to be a simple flashback about family memories, but the recording brought my attention back to my grandmother’s deep-seated repression and trauma. The voices evoked memories of growing up with my grandmother, whom I both loved and feared. Bound by familial attitudes and collective oppression, she had a strong desire to control me and my family. The cultural trauma she carried was inevitably passed on to me, becoming the core motivation for creating the work.
From October 2023 to February 2024, the idea of making a moving image came to me during the many times I reviewed this recording of a family conversation between my grandmother and me totalling 76 minutes and 43 seconds.
Original Text: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GPSzaPOi6nk4p7oM_iBOl06-94pyjZuC/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=108186872637012439057&rtpof=true&sd=true
Final Text: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UG71GJwnCFQC8L16DsF6eGkiTx7yIjLh/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=108186872637012439057&rtpof=true&sd=true
I sifted through the parts of the dialogue that struck a chord with me and organised the text into three chapters in chronological order (girlhood - motherhood - grandmotherhood). Subjectively, I removed my own parts of the text, as I wanted the vocal parts to reflect as much of my grandmother’s perspective as possible.
Never Look Back (video still), 12min12sec, 2024
Never Look Back (video still), 12min12sec, 2024
Never Look Back (video still), 12min12sec, 2024
Never Look Back, 12min12sec, 4K 3840×2160, 2024
The film is divided into three parts: ‘Retrospection’, ‘Worker Mother’, and ‘Never Look Back’. ‘Retrospection’ focuses on my grandmother’s upbringing during the Cultural Revolution and its impact on her and her family. ‘Worker Mother’ explores my grandmother’s dual identity: as a worker in her political identity and as a mother in her family role. It highlights her balance and conflict between work and family, the pressures she faced, and her confusion and struggle with identity, revealing her insignificance and powerlessness in the face of the times. ‘Never Look Back’ expresses my complex feelings towards my grandmother and my disorientation within my family and society. The cultural trauma rooted in my grandmother was invisibly transmitted to me.